


The thing about being a Sponge

by knightinpinkunderwear



Series: I told you that I don't have a soul [10]
Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Angst, Depressing, Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Language, Gen, Guilt, Hurt No Comfort, Manipulation, Past Character Death, Past Violence, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:00:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23106610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightinpinkunderwear/pseuds/knightinpinkunderwear
Summary: Duke deserved at least other people noticing what the hell he'd been manipulated/forced into by the people that he trusted.
Series: I told you that I don't have a soul [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1202056
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	The thing about being a Sponge

**Author's Note:**

> Okay there is some comfort. Very little of it.

Duke can't wash the blood off his hands. 

He can't watch it turn water pink and swirl down the sink.

Because it soaks in, and he can feel it. Running through his veins like fucking heroin. 

Except heroin never left him feeling this dirty, used, and disgusted with himself. 

He's a sponge, a sponge that no one bothers to rinse out or take care of, so he keeps in all the troubled blood and all the damage from Audery tricking him into this, about her making him chose what he never wanted to do.

So like a used and forgotten sponge he's left to mold from the inside out. Soaking up the blood and troubles.

This is his penance for... something. For being so broken and for stealing and acting out. 

The con man now being used over and over again tricked into con after con that makes his insides mold more and more. 

And nobody cares. 

No one ever cares about how he feels about it.

No one cares that he doesn't want to be a killer. 

The troubled look at him like he's a fucking predator, after them and their families. 

And the Rev's followers give him this smirk and nod that makes him feel like the scum of the Earth. 

And Nathan keeps acting like he's going to flip a switch and turn into a serial killer, not caring that his partner and him are the ones that make him kill. 

They're the ones that tell him to soak up the blood. 

And like that stupid sponge, they're the ones that leave and never bother to address the poisonous mold that is growing inside him. 

Then Mara comes along. And she's a bitch. 

She's his penance too. 

He falls for her act becuase he's so desperate for someone to _help_ with the poison growing inside him. 

She makes him into a bomb. And he can't bleed without letting out a trouble. But he doesn't want to blow. 

He thinks about escaping to that thinny, maybe if he blows in the void no one will get hurt. 

But who knows if he can even make it to North Carolina before he does. 

If he dies the troubles inside will all die with him...

But he can't bleed. 

And who knows what other relatives will have this stupid family curse? Audrey brought it back so maybe Jean won't be safe from it. 

Maybe one of his other long-lost big brothers will get it too. 

Maybe they'll end up like Wade. 

And he can't let that happen either. 

He's ended the Crocker curse once before. 

Who's to say that it won't work if the killer and the killed are one in the same? 

He's a sponge turned into a bomb, who knows what poisons he'll infect others with. 

The only way to make sure the poison is gone is to burn the sponge, there isn't time to throw it away. 

They always manage to drag him back out of wherever he hides anyway.

His friends aren't the ones that find him. But how shocked can he really be about that? He's there for them but they're only coming to find him if they need to _use_ him. 

Sasquatch finds him. 

Duke expected when Dwight turned on him for that CDC doctor, he was just the troubled-killer never been more than an annoyance and no one in all of Haven besides Jennifer has ever cared about how he feels. 

But she's dead now. 

Everyone leaves him, even if by some miracle they wanted to stay. 

He has pills, some of the bootleg chemotherapy shit. He figures that's as good as poison. Maybe if he's lucky some of the pills he's got will have a bad interaction, kill him fast. 

He doesn't want to blow. 

He's given so muched and it helped so little. 

How the world praises Nathan and Audrey when all they've been is selfish. 

He just wants to stop causing harm.

He cries real tears when Dwight takes the bottles from him. 

It's too late though, he's already taken a few. But not enough to end it quickly. 

"What the hell are you doing?" The police chief looks at him like he's the one that's lost his mind.

"-don't want to hurt anyone else, they'll die with me, just give it back!" He lunged for the pill bottles, Dwight was faster. 

Probably had something to do with his lack of double vision and not being full of the blood and troubles of hundreds of people. 

"Duke,-"

"Give me my pills and let me die, please," he manages to cover the pain with annoyance. Sasquatch doesn't budge, but his gaze turn uncomfortably close to sympathy and pity. The way Audrey looks at him whenever she hasn't decided to be mad at him. 

"I'm not going to let you kill yourself, Duke, what the hell did Mara do to you?"

"Nothing Audrey and Nate haven't done three or four times over, well except that now I'm a bomb full of troubles and I can infect other people, now give me my fucking pills!" He tried to lunge for the bottles again, this time he fell.

"I can't do that Duke,"

"Why? I'm a fucking murderer! I try to help and all I do is hurt and kill people! And no one fucking cares that I don't want this fucking curse!" And something inside him just cracks. The poisonous mold starts to show itself in breaks. "I never wanted to hurt anyone, but they kept guilting me into it telling me that it'd save lives! I had to kill my fucking brother!" And for the first time in way too fucking long someone is there to hold him as he falls apart. 

And someone finds the filthy sponge filled with poison and starts to wash it. 

The blood is still trapped in there, most of the troubles too. 

But some of the mold loses its grip and starts to come loose. 

But he's not salvageable, no matter what Dwight thinks. 

It's just a matter of times before he leaves and Duke is left alone to rot and mold some more. 


End file.
